Bingo!
When I was a
little girl, my Big Mama took me to a place down by the lake to play Bingo.
That was a long time ago, but it was the only time I’ve ever won anything, and
I think I drank every one of those little Co-Colas in that six pack of bottles.
It was my first, and last, experience
with Bingo…until last night.
They say
there’s “one” in every family. Our “one”
is Sister C who enjoys celebrating her birthday
more than anyone I know. Celebrations are liable to go on throughout the month
of May, and you can be sure that each of us will be involved in more than
one of these events. We good-naturedly rib her about this need to celebrate,
but we all enjoy it, too. Sister C is a joyful person, so celebrating anything
with her is fun, and you’re guaranteed a few laughs.
To kick off
Birthday Week, it was decided that we would have dinner, and then join a group
at the local Senior Center for an evening of Bingo. (Despite the location, we
are not yet “seniors”; we’re just
hoping to make it that far!) Our dinner
group included Sister C, Sister K, my niece (and C’s daughter) AB, and two
other friends who couldn’t Bingo with us. We had a lovely dinner and caravanned
to the Senior Center, arriving just a few minutes late.
We were told
that the first game had already started, but that we could buy our cards, find
a table and join in on the next game. Fine. We each ponied up our $15, learned
that the magic marker “dabbers” were not free (2 for a dollar), took our
goodies and followed C and AB to a table. According to K, C and AB, the crowd
was light for a Tuesday night, so we had no trouble claiming a table, which we
did and began to organize our Bingo cards and formulate a game plan. At this
point, I was very confused. But not to worry, nice Bingo lady came right over
and helped us organize. I believe she did this, not so much for our benefit,
but so that we wouldn’t disturb the regulars.
Ah, the
regulars. I knew right away that we had little to no chance of winning a game.
As I looked around, I saw tables of men and women who had 6, 8, 10 cards for
every game! No joke. These people meant business, and I’m forever grateful to
the Bingo lady (whatever her motivation) for helping us organize so that we
irritated the regulars as little as possible.
I was
impressed as heck with the setup. Bingo has turned into a big deal thing since
my long ago trip to the lake. The caller has one of those wind machines that
blows around the numbered Ping-Pong balls just like on the lottery show on WGN
in Chicago, and the board is electronic so that everything that’s called is
immediately up in lights on the big board – not quite like Wall Street, but you
get the idea. But that’s not all – there were little monitors on every wall so
you could see what was coming up next. Cool, I tell you. Very cool.
The Bingo
caller was up on the stage at the wind machine sitting on a stool. He was
pleasant enough, perhaps too pleasant, but he would call a number, and then
seemingly take a little nap before calling another. Of course, the four of us
were bored to tears and cracking each other up between calls. I say Mr. Bingo
knew his audience: mostly senior citizens, all were working at least 6 cards
per game. Had he called any faster, he surely would have endured their wrath.
Watching paint dry entered into our conversation more than once.
So, while
waiting for him to call the next number in any given game, I had plenty of time
to survey the room. The Voodoo Twilight room is one way I would describe it. To
say that these folks take their Bingo seriously is not an overstatement. There
were people sitting on cushions they’d brought from home; they’d brought snacks
and thermoses of coffee; the woman beside me had a Bingo purse. Many players
had these nifty bags that were a drawstring in the middle with multiple pockets
all around the bag where their dabbers were packed. The people with these bags were
packing at least 8 dabbers, in all colors.
Three women
across the back of the room had commandeered that area and were set up for
battle. Each woman had her own table, which they had then butted together. They
had a desk-top tape dispenser and had taped down each round of cards. One of
these women actually had pages of 6 or 8 cards for each game. A woman on the
left end smoked an electric cigarette, which I haven’t seen in years. She toked on it the entire night, so I figured
she must have been a 2 to 3 pack-a-day smoker. The woman in the middle seemed
to have brought sliced Bundt cake for the table, because they kept eating cake.
The woman on the right had one of those little dabber bags, which was good
because she was the one with pages of Bingo cards.
Another
woman at the back of the room had her own table, and her set-up looked like
Voodoo waiting to happen. She had her dabbers lined up across the front of the
table, and scattered through the line were little figurines, like a Virgin
Mary, I think. The woman next to her also had her own table and her own
personal box fan blowing on her face. When she yelled out, “Bingo”, everyone
jumped; she sounded (and kind of looked) like a man at a baseball game who had
accidentally stumbled into the Bingo parlor.
The most
amazing thing happened during half time. Not kidding, they really call the
break half time. (I say, a lovely tribute to football, which you know I’m all
for relating everything possible to football.) The four women sitting next to
us were joined by a fifth woman, and they proceeded to break out a deck of
cards, some dollar bills and some quarters.
Whatever game they were playing moved very quickly and ended in minutes.
One of the women told us they were playing Bingo with cards. Who knew?
Meanwhile,
back at the Birthday table, we were dabbing and waiting, dabbing and waiting,
and waiting, and waiting. It became clear very early on that you had to
purchase more than one set of Bingo cards if you wanted to find any action.
The only
thing I knew of Bingo was straight across, straight down, or vertical. My how
things have changed! We did Jackpot Bingo, Hatpin Bingo, and Checkmark Bingo.
Thankfully, C, K, and AB were patient with me, and the Big Board lit up the
pattern for each game. We all sat there and laughed and threatened to yell out
Bingo. Just one more number and I’ll Bingo! Of course, that was absurd,
statistically speaking. However, against these odds, Sister C won $17 on the
second card we played. That was early on, and it was a fluke.
Speed Ball
Bingo was another new one, to me. It’s played with a small card, and the caller
calls numbers only, and he calls very quickly. (That part was nice, and the
only time he did anything in a remotely quick fashion.) I was so excited as we
rolled along on this particular round. My card was filling nicely with green
dots from my dabber. I was only two away from winning, then one, and
then…Bingo! I yelled! As soon as I’d said it, I looked down to see that O67 on
my card did not have a green dot on it; it had been covered up by my finger. So
I apologized, but in that split second other players looked at me like I had
killed their dogs. I was so embarrassed and C, K and AB were laughing so hard
tears were flowing. I just wanted to crawl under the table. Bingo lady smiled
at me and told me it was okay. You see, this was one of the very things she was
most likely trying to prevent happening. But alas, it did happen. I just
blurted that right out. For the next few cards, I was understandably gun-shy
about the whole thing.
The further
we got into Bingo Night, the more slowly Mr. Bingo pulled those Ping Pong balls
and called the numbers. I think he was sleepy too, because his calling became
slurred, and I really don’t think he was sipping anything other than his diet
soda. It was a sleep-inducing type of thing, and we were all yawning, including
Mr. Bingo. It was after 9:30 when the evening came to a close.
Another
thing I learned from Bingo night – when it ends, leave immediately, but take
plenty of care going to your car – these people (and remember many are senior
citizens) rip through a parking lot in a way befitting that old motto from the movie, Fried
Green Tomatoes – “I’m older than you, and I have more insurance.”
My, how
things have changed since I played Bingo with my Big Mama beside the lake.
